A new chapter

Good morning, Thailand. Jet lag has awoken me this morning at the ungodly hour of 3. Trying to sleep, and with no luck, I finally give up and grab my journal and bible and head to the porch, while Kevin continues to snooze away.

The sun still hasn’t broke and lightning lights up the sky every dozen seconds. And it sinks in. We’re here. Halfway around the world. My brother in law is in his final stages of cancer, my sisters heart is breaking, and I cry. Finally.

This is my new reality. I realized that my blogging has been low, and that my desire to communicate this journey, my thoughts, isn’t at the forefront of my mind. Perhaps because it doesn’t feel so foreign anymore? Perhaps because I’m still struggling to find the words to express how I’m feeling when I see beautiful Thai women with western white men in Thailand’s sex tourism capital? Perhaps because the complexity of it all still baffles me.

So I hone in my strength and do what I can: learn, pray, love, laugh… And have faith: that there is so much more than this world that we live in. That the kingdom of heaven is near and will prevail.

The sun is breaking and the sky turns a light blue. What I would give for a cup of coffee right now. This morning brings with it new mercies, a fresh start. An opportunity to learn, to ask questions, to continue exposing myself to this complex issue.

As the birds wake up to start their day, a man and Thai woman walk loudly, drunkenly, to their room for the night: morning?

So, lord, what will you teach us today? I pray that we would never stop learning, never stop seeking after your heart and your wisdom. Help us see how you see.

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